Flowzcafe

 I couldn’t process what I just saw! I need an explanation urgently before I explode, a thought in my head whispered. On getting to where my driver ( soon to be ex)was standing, I roared at the top of my voice HOW DARE YOU IGNORE MY CALLS? The ugly Man rudely interrupted me, saying all manner of gibberish. I honestly can’t remember the choices of words because I already have a dislike towards him and my anger was at my driver. Immediately, my driver got on his knees as tears rolled down his eyes. I was shocked and confused, then he  said in a hushed tone ” I lost her”. At this point nothing made sense to me, but I had become calmer seeing him on his knees. The midget of a Man( the ugly Man) wouldn’t stop ranting, he was screaming and asking him why he would kneel before a common woman. Now I remember some of his words. ” Disrespectful, stupid, born by mistake, fool”. He kept saying do you know I can give birth to you??!! I ignored the living day light out of whatever rubbish h...

  Ever since I got into the new estate at Conan road, it has been one hell of a task getting to work . There is a renovation going on around the estate premises that makes it difficult to move around with my car, especially for those of us living at block 2 ave. Rewind a bit.. My name is mojisola akachukwu,  Half igbo and Yoruba. I come from a fairly comfortable family and God being merciful I am a first class graduate of biochemistry from the university of Auckland. Enough with the introduction, Back to my story. I work with a big consultation firm just around the corner ( I will withhold the name for security reasons). I had to find a means to get to work since the block 2 Ave was still under renovations. I spoke to the head of security who introduced me to an Uber driver that would pick me up at the gate and drop me off after work.  Everything was going smoothly until around day five I think. My Uber driver failed to show up after work and I already had a soiled mood o...

 This is probably the default reaction to a bad incident. The average person believes in the reject system as a coping mechanism amidst a terrible situation.  For example  Bad marriage ( it can never be me) Losing wealth ( it can never be me) Domestic violence ( it can never be me) Plane crash ( it can never be me) Surprisingly it keeps happening over and over again, this time to a different person who at a point might have said " it can never be me". We are by default attracted to a good life, I doubt anyone would want to put themselves in a terrible situation out of boredom or some flimsy excuses. So it's amusing that something beyond human control is treated with such levity. Faith , words of affirmation and declarations are beautiful, as it is a motivation to achieve. A positive mindset that keeps the mind focused and determined. But is it enough to avert an accident? Why do you think it could never be you in that bad relationship, accident, fire outbreak, disaster an...

 Everyday is a struggle for survival, everyone is hustling for a space on the table. In a ploy to get ahead we are willing to destroy whatever obstacle is on the way without minding whose ox is gored. Human to human relationships is one of the most difficult because everyone acts from their perspective and personal beliefs ( most times it's against others) Everyone thinks they're not the problem, They probably deserve a good friend. We are quick to point a finger at a supposed bad ship without looking inwards. What if you ain't shit? What if you are a bad person? What would you do if you are in a similar position to what you judge? Would you handle it differently  Everyone has a wicked ex, a back biting friend, a stingy and proud friend, a bad advisor, a sad friend, a trouble making friend, a cheating friend. I can go on and on and on! If everyone is pointing fingers, who then is guilty? Hypocrisy is such a bad card! When we are faced with the difficult situation, there is ...

 A lot of people are watching! If you have a super power to see the abstract, you will be surprised at the amount of people watching you secretly. Maybe they want you to fail or they are just curious. Some are waiting to see the end result, while only a tiny fraction genuinely want to see you win.  Everyday you show up , someone sees you  When you fail to show up, another person is seen. If you continually refuse to show up, more people are seen and you go down the radar. What does it tell you? Everyone that comes across you is watching  Not everyone would drop a comment, Not everyone would leave a like or a positive review about your life and business in general. It could be the ego or the innate nature of humans to associate with success. Whatever it is, know that a shadow of eyes are noticing. Your enemies want to see you fail and they are constantly watching every thing you do. Their facial expressions are mean, their body language is unreceptive, they eagerly wa...

 Hey Man there's a party just across the street, bad ass girls, weed, raunchy games and mad fun! Let's go chill and unwind. If your answer is "NO", they try to shame you with a boring tag and gaslight you into thinking you're about to miss out on the best there is. Let's go to the club Let's go light some weed Let's go fuck some good pussy  Notice the pattern?  It's never about your benefits and self improvement. They all go mute when it's time to put you up for business. If you put a call through" about needing a business or money" then their tone changes. " I'm not sure you can do this" " the business ain't all that profitable" " networking is just a mirage" ( the excuses are so loud) If you think I could have fun with you, why not put me on how to break bread with you? Society is normalizing recklessness as a personality trait, until you run into a deep mess and then you are another casualty ( ...

 Ego clouds rationality!  In a woman and Man relationship dynamic, the ability to read signs, body language, words, actions will determine how successful you get.  Logic is your best bet as a Man, because it helps you make decisions that are beneficial to your well being ( emphasis on beneficial). The average Man thinks power is loud, they want to prove and conquer, instead of receiving in abundance. They want to brag about scoring a good goal when the most important rule of a game is to score a goal. Paying attention to the body language of a woman will tell you if she wants to be with you out of her own will or not. Her words and actions are a reflection of her thoughts, as so should be your source of accountability. Most guys know when a woman doesn't want them, but they think they have the ability to change, convince or subdue her against her initial will. The money game starts ( maybe I should give her more money) Attention spamming ( maybe I should call her more) Ov...

 To have a beautiful life is to have money. It might come off as a very shabby and materialistic mindset, but in the end everything revolves around getting money. The problem with money is that the demand is greater than supply which makes it difficult to access. In the midst of chasing it we are exposed to other means of getting by, at a point it becomes a clash between what is right and what is needed. How do you navigate such a tricky situation? It sounds like an easy decision until you are faced with a real life situation where you have to make a choice. Mind you in the context of provision both decisions are good because they lead you to a different path.  A practical example of the above is,  If your daughter needs urgent medical care ( life and death situation) and you don't have enough money to cater for her medical bills, but you have the key to a safe where you work and then you break in at night. You decide to take a few dollars out without the company knowing...

 One of problems associated with a bad friendship, heartbreak or betrayal is the act of getting defensive and sensitive, there by Losing the naivety that makes you open minded. We start to care about not being treated the same way, even when it's glaring that the situation is different and it's a new person. Every move is questioned. What is the motive behind the compliment? Am I doing too much? Maybe I should wait for the first message? The above keeps ringing inside your head. The crazy thing is a part of you justifies this supposed metal awareness, you validate every curiosity with " protecting your heart". And then it becomes obvious in the long run that the other party too feels this way. Who breaks the ice? When two people have the same conditioning, who is willing to be the bigger person? The genuine dove-like attitude becomes lost in the game, it becomes stressful to bond. Your mind tricks you to find an escape route even before getting locked up. Quick sex an...

 At what point does expectation transgress into entitlement? Morally a good deed is expected to be reciprocated though obligatory, which leaves us in a quandary with regards to what constitutes entitlement . The same group of people that assume a person is entitled for trying to leverage on friendship, family or past deeds is quick to cry foul when he/she is in a position where expectancy is neglected. Maybe entitlement should be categorized into types.( Thinking out loud) It's only logical for someone to expect that a past favor be returned in future even if the expectation can't be quantified. I think where the problem lies is when a person puts a tag on what is deserving of them. For instance if John shares a loaf of bread with peter , he expects Peter to give him at least two loaves if he has 6 loaves. John's argument to this expectation is that he shared his only loaf with Peter and should therefore be deserving of at least two due to the abundance of bread at Peter...

 We all have the dream of getting married to a rich partner ( especially women), the life of luxury, vacation in different countries, the best of clothes, food and most importantly providing our kids a comfortable life. But there seems to be a barricade that just wouldn't get out of the way. "Reality"!!  Reality says NO! And it sucked.  It's like a huge blow to the face. There is just not enough wealth to go round and then it boils down to factors that are mostly not in our control. ( Luck, information, connections and time) The biggest problem with the above is the " belief of exception".. Every single person assumes they are part of the lucky ones, that inherit the  wealth roaming aimlessly, so it leads to a tussle between reality and delusion. Just maybe I'm the exception everyone thinks. Could it be you? Relationships tend to suffer the most because there is an essential need for provision( a must in most cases), which leads to a high level of classi...

 The fluidity in men’s libido makes sex a constant insatiability, as there seems to be a peculiar horniness to masculinity. Arguably, it would not be out of place to declare the average man sex starved. The sexual market is tilted in favor of women having the option for preferences( looks, status and wealth) in Men. Feminine power has grown with impeccable entitlements, room for sieving, above all a source of income. I totally disagree with the unfounded notion that sees women as cheap with regards to the sexual market. An average looking girl need not show more than a little cleavage, she gets swarmed with all sorts of horniness induced compliments and attention. On the cheap talk you have the answer!! A Man's constant craving for sex subconsciously stimulates an inconsequential need to brag after a romp, as it signifies a win in the sexual market. A Man with numerous sexual partners is considered a god amongst his peers not minding the occasional flake from women who Shames promi...

 Humans are naturally information oriented, especially when a supposed higher authority calls the shot. The average human subconsciously reacts to a pathway, and applies whatever principles based on facts and conviction garnered. A child is blank from birth which makes it easy to assimilate every information without necessarily having a choice to decline or accept. For every information received it is considered right until a superior information is passed across which either contradicts, broadens or outrightly dismiss the previous information shared. Ever wondered why cultism still thrives despite several anti cultism teachings? It is called RE-ORIETATION. Re-orientation has it's uniqueness because of the recurrent evolving cycle. It simply entails that for every orientation there is a counter re-orientation on the subject as long as it is portrayed to be superior to the aforementioned.  For instance a person that is oriented to believe night life is bad, becomes stuck in tha...

 The biggest template for human importance in the modern world today is money! Money is power, Money is love, Money is respect, Money is status. But beyond money, is there any other value that endears a person to a level of utmost importance to others? It feels like the modern relationship is fickle and superficial, as there seems to be no willingness to build, fight and nurture. The average person is willing to throw away everything at the slightest provocation. Integrity, reliability and loyalty is a mental mirage! Everyone is replaceable, but no one is the same. Which means we are all a unique being that is associated with different characteristics as a person. If the above sentiment is upheld, it only means no other person can offer a particular value verbatim. Why then is it easy to move on from a supposed uniqueness and diversity? Kindness in my opinion is probably the most powerful value any one should possess. Peace, honesty, loyalty, integrity and modesty are attributes I...

 Money is arguably the number one requirement for a successful transition into adulthood( health aside). In the chase for money a single person is way different from a married person, as there is a transition into how money is ought to be spent. The phase of accountability, prudence, intentionality and conviction are the deciding factors that rule how money is spent.  The key word in this article is marriage!.  As simple as it sounds, marriage is the quickest way to lose money in the long run as there is little or no room for failure. Any slip is detrimental to sustainable wealth.  The process of putting your interest below to accommodate other expenses is known as married money. While single money is the act of putting yourself first in every monetary consideration. A single person's 5000 is equivalent to a married person's 20000. A lot of people who are faith inclined refuse to acknowledge the huge difference between the two. Faith is a moral recital and it helps a...

 When you pay attention to the intent of a word of advice, then you can gauge if it's from a place of care, concern or disguised mockery. The " Go and marry" tag falls in line with the disguised mockery often packaged as a genuine concern. Age, finance and status are mostly the determinant of these fallacious shows of sportsmanship as it is always a subtle way to remind you of your decline. Rarely does happiness, companionship or even peace of mind be considered as a criteria for the supposed " Go and marry" advice. Isn't it surprising that if there is a refusal on your part to cling onto the marriage ship, they throw in a subtle jibe and undertone caricature, reminding you of your anticipated decline and risk of losing out in life. Every other achievement is discarded and you are faced with multiple reasons why you are on your way to doom. Then the game starts, Pressure from onlookers Constant reminder of your lack of purpose (marriage wise) Subtle jibe and...

 This is a timely reminder that exclusivity in the modern day relationship is almost non existent ( let's give grace to the 1 percent of exception). Your defensive instincts will probably tell you it's a farce and ploy to ruin the little fun moment. Like they say " a blind boyfriend is a good boyfriend", what you don't know doesn't exist as long as there is no prior information. The side nigga has refused to spill or aim for the bull eye ( your place), that's why you think she's only yours. It takes a player to tell a good woman and that can only be determined after she passes  Test of sexual inclination( a hot body) Test of lifestyle ( money, fame and glamour) Test of game ( flirty and cocky admiration) Finally and ultimately the test of secrecy( nobody is going to know) Men are wired to chase sex and it's only logical that they get together with a woman except for gay Men. 90 percent of the time a Man is chasing a new pussy to conquer for valida...

 At what point do I get a thumbs up? A silver lining, A pat on the back and a word of encouragement. It feels like there is no place for effort until there are results. Evidence is a prerequisite for hard work, not your sweat, scar or tears. Who is paying attention to every single brick laid down?  The scars are a constant reminder that you are worth nothing except when you win according to society standards. The people watching you show up everyday are the first to criticize you when the chips are down. If effort and hard work is the template for success, why is effort disregarded in the face of adversity? We have raised a society that is afraid of process and accountability, instead we are keen on results, not because of gratitude or a sense of accomplishment but a means to prove, validate and conquer the fear of ridicule that is associated with efforts. A cleaner is most times referred to as " just or ordinary", but if eventually he becomes successful, automatically there ...

 I believe nothing in life is absolute, especially when there is no concrete evidence as to the biological existence of humans. Almost everything is arguable due to the knowledge of right and wrong. If there is an advantage then there should be a disadvantage. We grow up into existing ideologies, set ups and doctrines without questioning some of the beliefs even if they don't align with our morals and values as a people. People aren't inquisitive, they don't ask themselves certain questions. We think things can only be done correctly the way we were taught.  The human mind is vast and should be capable of making an independent decision. A lot of people are afraid to question the norm due to the fear of backlash. The idea of criticism in private is stale , as it rarely helps any course.  Avoiding conflicts but instigating disagreement in little circles is cowardly. When the foundation is faulty, the building suffers! The herd mentality stinks! Why should a burial ceremony ...

 Say a prayer with me to the universe. I have erred and sinned against the innate sense of good deeds, I have offended the laws of righteousness and virtue, I seek for pardon and strength to persevere. I wasn't born this way, but I guess money is the root of all evil! Forgive my shortcomings. Please blame money and accept my decisions. In the time of sobriety and calmness, we think about our decisions, We care about our thoughts and actions, We are filled with remorse, yet alive in the euphoria of vanity. What is the purpose of making bad decisions? Money, Money, Money!! Please put the blame on Money! We convince ourselves with the idea of leveling up, Society is unfair and unkind to the poor, The decision is almost rigged against you. How am I expected to scale through life hurdles, when my voice is equivalent to my pocket? Not regrets, not shame, not even money can erase the guilt! With clarity comes accountability. Maybe I'm too emotional for this world. Maybe I deserve to b...

 The cycle keeps repeating,  typical man/woman totally shattered because a supposed better half ruined an untold fallacy about sticking together. I struggle to understand how difficult it is for two opposite sex out of millions to copulate devoid of hurt,drama, cheating and what have you. A conscious and intentional process led to an agreement to date, which technically means there was an acceptance out of other probable options to be together. Recent happenings always connote a safe pattern of early stage mushiness and lovey dovey until a party drifts or meets a perceived better person. So it is somewhat subconsciously established that the average human cannot be with a particular person for long. Why is there still the need to date instead of having a mutual friendship which could be sexual depending on the scenario? The trauma, hurt that a heartbroken person exhibits is baffling and quite surprising,  sentiment wise maybe I have never truly been broken to exhibit pains...

 Most times it is usually an act of selflessness, kindness and calmness that qualifies a person to be referred to as good. This makes it a contextual and conditional debate, as the same person can be assumed bad if he/she fails to replicate that act in a different environment or time. If Mr Emeka offers Mr Frankie help without having any expectations, he is considered a good person according to Mr Frankie. If Mr Emeka treats Mr John badly in another situation, it is mostly assumed Mr Emeka is a bad person according to Mr John. It becomes a case of timing, perception, context , situation and so on.  A lot of times as humans we tend to focus on deeds as a judge of character, and since there is no absolute assurance for continuous good or bad act it is only logical to assume no one is really a good person. The same person that hurt someone in the past suddenly expects to be treated fairly, totally disregarding their actions towards another person before now. It's crazy that our ...

 It sounds like a farce and an anomaly, but the reality is that the average man in the quest for sex is willing to be humiliated, shamed and embarrassed just for sexual pleasure. When a woman boldly says " I have men begging me" " If you don't do it someone else will" Better believe that shit!!!  you will be surprised at the level Men can go to get a sniff of the vagina! A Man would deny his wife, Sell out his friends, Fight and kill just to get laid and you are wondering why women are audacious with their standards. Just because you're a fine girl send your account. How cringe and laughable! Men have subconsciously enabled entitled women and now they are trying to cower and play victim, Hell no! What do you mean by a girl asking me for money before she can see me, what do you expect Mr Man? You are paying to hook up You pay flight tickets for a total stranger  You entice another Man's woman with money  You buy cars and houses for undeserving women and y...

 Oh my God!, did you see the car he bought her, Did you see the money bouquet, The ring, the diamond, the food, the clothes  He/she is so intentional! Then the infamous quote rings out loud " an intentional Man/ intentional woman". With a sprinkle of " awwwn" serenading the atmosphere. So cute I guess? Is this truly what intentionality entails or just a way of seeking validation and urging our transactional instincts to survive! The silence is deafening....... It's mostly particular with women who attach intentionality to a good deed done by a Man and somehow convince other women ( herd mentality) to put up a standard of receiving expensive gifts as a show of true intent. But when it comes to an actual moment of intentionality, there is a sudden shift from accountability to uncertainty. Can I get your number? No I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Can I buy you lunch? No I'm sorry, my partner won't like that  Can you wake up late to make you...

The thought is scary and unfair according to morals and emotions, but reality says otherwise because the truth is neither based on assumptions nor permutations. We can argue that " the thought of never rising again" is actually an assumption based on the theory of facts. How then does one navigate through a life of uncertainty? The bitter truth is that the chances of making something tangible out of life is a herculean task when placed in the ratio of man to man according to the population. This beget the question, What if we never rise from afflictions or pain? What if we never become rich and successful? What if we don't have a successful marriage? What if and what if's? Is there any chance of enjoying life if things don't go our way? Is there fulfillment at the other end of the spectrum. Christianity will pitch its tent towards Jesus as the helper of the weak and the redeemer, but the average person seems to only believe in success and riches so it becomes inc...

It's always about how he/she looks. How much is spent  The perfume The car The glam and generosity. Isn't it contradictory that a person in his will to attain success is supposed to save up and invest for a better future ( delayed gratification), yet an important criteria in today's world ,you're judged by your ability to spend unceremoniously, irrespective of whatever you have going on(long term or short term). The thought of this probably makes sense to you now, but in the position of comparison, a man who spends 5 million naira in the club but has a total of 10 million naira is accorded a certain respect and considered richer than someone who owns a business that makes 200 thousand naira weekly. How ironical!! The society is like a doctrine where we just grow up into existing ideologies without questioning the rationale behind such acts / beliefs.  The worship of money subconsciously alters our decision making especially when it's lavishly spent!  The pressure t...

Time and time over it keeps happening, Men cannot handle a cheating woman despite the knowledge that a large percentage of women cheat. The average man is more concerned about ego instead of how he's been treated. Do I think cheating is bad? Definitely  Do I encourage cheating women? No This article is focused on paying attention and receiving the best of affection from women, rather than finding solace in exclusive loyalty which is very rare. In the context of this conversation( a good girlfriend) is someone who puts you first, cooks and cares for you, motivates and assists you in a way that the average girl doesn't. Now the question beckons, why should I throw all of these attributes and genuine affection away because of who a woman fucks or makes out with? Reality is that the average woman cheats and somehow most Men think theirs is a Saint. So whose babe are other men fucking?!! Isn't it laughable and quite delusional. Men need to realize that only in marriage should ch...