Flowzcafe

  Ever since I got into the new estate at Conan road, it has been one hell of a task getting to work . There is a renovation going on around the estate premises that makes it difficult to move around with my car, especially for those of us living at block 2 ave. Rewind a bit.. My name is mojisola akachukwu,  Half igbo and Yoruba. I come from a fairly comfortable family and God being merciful I am a first class graduate of biochemistry from the university of Auckland. Enough with the introduction, Back to my story. I work with a big consultation firm just around the corner ( I will withhold the name for security reasons). I had to find a means to get to work since the block 2 Ave was still under renovations. I spoke to the head of security who introduced me to an Uber driver that would pick me up at the gate and drop me off after work.  Everything was going smoothly until around day five I think. My Uber driver failed to show up after work and I already had a soiled mood o...

 This is probably the default reaction to a bad incident. The average person believes in the reject system as a coping mechanism amidst a terrible situation.  For example  Bad marriage ( it can never be me) Losing wealth ( it can never be me) Domestic violence ( it can never be me) Plane crash ( it can never be me) Surprisingly it keeps happening over and over again, this time to a different person who at a point might have said " it can never be me". We are by default attracted to a good life, I doubt anyone would want to put themselves in a terrible situation out of boredom or some flimsy excuses. So it's amusing that something beyond human control is treated with such levity. Faith , words of affirmation and declarations are beautiful, as it is a motivation to achieve. A positive mindset that keeps the mind focused and determined. But is it enough to avert an accident? Why do you think it could never be you in that bad relationship, accident, fire outbreak, disaster an...

 Everyday is a struggle for survival, everyone is hustling for a space on the table. In a ploy to get ahead we are willing to destroy whatever obstacle is on the way without minding whose ox is gored. Human to human relationships is one of the most difficult because everyone acts from their perspective and personal beliefs ( most times it's against others) Everyone thinks they're not the problem, They probably deserve a good friend. We are quick to point a finger at a supposed bad ship without looking inwards. What if you ain't shit? What if you are a bad person? What would you do if you are in a similar position to what you judge? Would you handle it differently  Everyone has a wicked ex, a back biting friend, a stingy and proud friend, a bad advisor, a sad friend, a trouble making friend, a cheating friend. I can go on and on and on! If everyone is pointing fingers, who then is guilty? Hypocrisy is such a bad card! When we are faced with the difficult situation, there is ...

 A lot of people are watching! If you have a super power to see the abstract, you will be surprised at the amount of people watching you secretly. Maybe they want you to fail or they are just curious. Some are waiting to see the end result, while only a tiny fraction genuinely want to see you win.  Everyday you show up , someone sees you  When you fail to show up, another person is seen. If you continually refuse to show up, more people are seen and you go down the radar. What does it tell you? Everyone that comes across you is watching  Not everyone would drop a comment, Not everyone would leave a like or a positive review about your life and business in general. It could be the ego or the innate nature of humans to associate with success. Whatever it is, know that a shadow of eyes are noticing. Your enemies want to see you fail and they are constantly watching every thing you do. Their facial expressions are mean, their body language is unreceptive, they eagerly wa...

 Hey Man there's a party just across the street, bad ass girls, weed, raunchy games and mad fun! Let's go chill and unwind. If your answer is "NO", they try to shame you with a boring tag and gaslight you into thinking you're about to miss out on the best there is. Let's go to the club Let's go light some weed Let's go fuck some good pussy  Notice the pattern?  It's never about your benefits and self improvement. They all go mute when it's time to put you up for business. If you put a call through" about needing a business or money" then their tone changes. " I'm not sure you can do this" " the business ain't all that profitable" " networking is just a mirage" ( the excuses are so loud) If you think I could have fun with you, why not put me on how to break bread with you? Society is normalizing recklessness as a personality trait, until you run into a deep mess and then you are another casualty ( ...

 Ego clouds rationality!  In a woman and Man relationship dynamic, the ability to read signs, body language, words, actions will determine how successful you get.  Logic is your best bet as a Man, because it helps you make decisions that are beneficial to your well being ( emphasis on beneficial). The average Man thinks power is loud, they want to prove and conquer, instead of receiving in abundance. They want to brag about scoring a good goal when the most important rule of a game is to score a goal. Paying attention to the body language of a woman will tell you if she wants to be with you out of her own will or not. Her words and actions are a reflection of her thoughts, as so should be your source of accountability. Most guys know when a woman doesn't want them, but they think they have the ability to change, convince or subdue her against her initial will. The money game starts ( maybe I should give her more money) Attention spamming ( maybe I should call her more) Ov...

 To have a beautiful life is to have money. It might come off as a very shabby and materialistic mindset, but in the end everything revolves around getting money. The problem with money is that the demand is greater than supply which makes it difficult to access. In the midst of chasing it we are exposed to other means of getting by, at a point it becomes a clash between what is right and what is needed. How do you navigate such a tricky situation? It sounds like an easy decision until you are faced with a real life situation where you have to make a choice. Mind you in the context of provision both decisions are good because they lead you to a different path.  A practical example of the above is,  If your daughter needs urgent medical care ( life and death situation) and you don't have enough money to cater for her medical bills, but you have the key to a safe where you work and then you break in at night. You decide to take a few dollars out without the company knowing...

 One of problems associated with a bad friendship, heartbreak or betrayal is the act of getting defensive and sensitive, there by Losing the naivety that makes you open minded. We start to care about not being treated the same way, even when it's glaring that the situation is different and it's a new person. Every move is questioned. What is the motive behind the compliment? Am I doing too much? Maybe I should wait for the first message? The above keeps ringing inside your head. The crazy thing is a part of you justifies this supposed metal awareness, you validate every curiosity with " protecting your heart". And then it becomes obvious in the long run that the other party too feels this way. Who breaks the ice? When two people have the same conditioning, who is willing to be the bigger person? The genuine dove-like attitude becomes lost in the game, it becomes stressful to bond. Your mind tricks you to find an escape route even before getting locked up. Quick sex an...

 At what point does expectation transgress into entitlement? Morally a good deed is expected to be reciprocated though obligatory, which leaves us in a quandary with regards to what constitutes entitlement . The same group of people that assume a person is entitled for trying to leverage on friendship, family or past deeds is quick to cry foul when he/she is in a position where expectancy is neglected. Maybe entitlement should be categorized into types.( Thinking out loud) It's only logical for someone to expect that a past favor be returned in future even if the expectation can't be quantified. I think where the problem lies is when a person puts a tag on what is deserving of them. For instance if John shares a loaf of bread with peter , he expects Peter to give him at least two loaves if he has 6 loaves. John's argument to this expectation is that he shared his only loaf with Peter and should therefore be deserving of at least two due to the abundance of bread at Peter...

 We all have the dream of getting married to a rich partner ( especially women), the life of luxury, vacation in different countries, the best of clothes, food and most importantly providing our kids a comfortable life. But there seems to be a barricade that just wouldn't get out of the way. "Reality"!!  Reality says NO! And it sucked.  It's like a huge blow to the face. There is just not enough wealth to go round and then it boils down to factors that are mostly not in our control. ( Luck, information, connections and time) The biggest problem with the above is the " belief of exception".. Every single person assumes they are part of the lucky ones, that inherit the  wealth roaming aimlessly, so it leads to a tussle between reality and delusion. Just maybe I'm the exception everyone thinks. Could it be you? Relationships tend to suffer the most because there is an essential need for provision( a must in most cases), which leads to a high level of classi...

 The fluidity in men’s libido makes sex a constant insatiability, as there seems to be a peculiar horniness to masculinity. Arguably, it would not be out of place to declare the average man sex starved. The sexual market is tilted in favor of women having the option for preferences( looks, status and wealth) in Men. Feminine power has grown with impeccable entitlements, room for sieving, above all a source of income. I totally disagree with the unfounded notion that sees women as cheap with regards to the sexual market. An average looking girl need not show more than a little cleavage, she gets swarmed with all sorts of horniness induced compliments and attention. On the cheap talk you have the answer!! A Man's constant craving for sex subconsciously stimulates an inconsequential need to brag after a romp, as it signifies a win in the sexual market. A Man with numerous sexual partners is considered a god amongst his peers not minding the occasional flake from women who Shames promi...

 Humans are naturally information oriented, especially when a supposed higher authority calls the shot. The average human subconsciously reacts to a pathway, and applies whatever principles based on facts and conviction garnered. A child is blank from birth which makes it easy to assimilate every information without necessarily having a choice to decline or accept. For every information received it is considered right until a superior information is passed across which either contradicts, broadens or outrightly dismiss the previous information shared. Ever wondered why cultism still thrives despite several anti cultism teachings? It is called RE-ORIETATION. Re-orientation has it's uniqueness because of the recurrent evolving cycle. It simply entails that for every orientation there is a counter re-orientation on the subject as long as it is portrayed to be superior to the aforementioned.  For instance a person that is oriented to believe night life is bad, becomes stuck in tha...

 The biggest template for human importance in the modern world today is money! Money is power, Money is love, Money is respect, Money is status. But beyond money, is there any other value that endears a person to a level of utmost importance to others? It feels like the modern relationship is fickle and superficial, as there seems to be no willingness to build, fight and nurture. The average person is willing to throw away everything at the slightest provocation. Integrity, reliability and loyalty is a mental mirage! Everyone is replaceable, but no one is the same. Which means we are all a unique being that is associated with different characteristics as a person. If the above sentiment is upheld, it only means no other person can offer a particular value verbatim. Why then is it easy to move on from a supposed uniqueness and diversity? Kindness in my opinion is probably the most powerful value any one should possess. Peace, honesty, loyalty, integrity and modesty are attributes I...